The Doctor, ACTION!
by reddwarfaddict
Summary: Prequel to 'The Doctor, GO'. Rose decides to film a day out with the Doctor to show her mother. And you KNOW it's gonna be fluff, coz, well, it's me. Slight DoctorWhump.


**A/N: **Disclaimer: Me, ug, Doctor Who, ug, no, ug ug.**  
**

I SAY prequel, but it's the first prequel where you'll probably have to read the sequel to fully appreciate the ending, lol.

Oh God, I'm so sorry this came up.

* * *

_**  
Camera – on.**_

(Fidgeting with camera is heard, along with muffled curses as the camera moves around violently.)

**ROSE:** (Off camera) Damn Dixon's cheap cra…

(Camera rights itself, and **ROSE **comes in view.)

**ROSE: **(Into camera, smiling broadly)Hello mum! You said you wanted to know more 'bout what me as the Doctor get up to in a day, so I got a camera and I'm gonna film it for ya. Of course, assuming I'm still alive to give it to ya.

(**ROSE **laughs nervously.)

(Long pause.)

_**Camera – off.  
**_

* * *

_**Camera – on.**_

(View is black, but sounds of the TARDIS can be heard in the background whirling and clicking.)

**DOCTOR: **(Voiceover as Bill Oddie) The human species - also known as Homo Sapiens, are fascinating creatures that roam the land areas of Planet Earth. With their pickiness in diet, rest periods and total lack of control over bodily functions; it's a wonder they haven't been blown up yet.

(Creak of a door opening is heard. Across the room there is a bed, a visible small bump under the duvet signifying **ROSE**, sleeping, with her head resting on the pillows.)

**DOCTOR: **(Continuing voiceover as Bill Oddie) And here we have the female of the species, outwardly beautiful, yet fragile. Inwardly – well, I wouldn't know.

(Camera moves closer to **ROSE**.)  
**DOCTOR: **(Continuing voiceover as Bill Oddie) Note how the female has not yet acknowledged my presence in the room. Her set sleeping patterns make it incredibly easy to pick a precise point in time to study this species in-depth. Let's get closer.

(Camera moves right next to **ROSE**, still oblivious to the **DOCTOR**'s presence.)

**DOCTOR: **(Normal voice)Hmm, I wonder…

(Camera is set on side table as the **DOCTOR **leans down and whispers into **ROSE**'s ear.)

**DOCTOR: **(Deep husky voice) Mmm, I love you Rose… (High girly voice) I love you too, Bret! (Deep husky voice) What d'ya say we go…_study _in the library, baby? (High girly voice) Oh, Breeeet…

(**ROSE **moves in her sleep, groaning satisfactorily.)

**DOCTOR: **(Deep husky voice) I luuuurve you baby! (High girly voice) Bret…

(**DOCTOR **carries on talking in imaginary conversation, as **ROSE**'s eye open and stares at the **DOCTOR**, who has not noticed her awake.)

**DOCTOR: **(Deep husky voice) Rose, you're the girl of my dreams! (High girly voice) Bret! You're the one I'll be with forever…

(**DOCTOR **sees **ROSE**.)

**DOCTOR: **Ah.

(**ROSE **leaps forward, her hand knocking the camera as she jumps at the **DOCTOR**'s throat.)

**ROSE: **YOU BAS-

(Loud smash as camera hits the floor.)

_**Camera – off.  
**_

* * *

_**Camera – on.**_

(The **DOCTOR **comes into view, frowning in concentration, obviously immersed in working the camera.)

**DOCTOR: **Is that…is it on?

(**DOCTOR **smiles, giving a thumbs up to the camera.)

**DOCTOR: **Working! (Addresses **ROSE** off camera) Rose! I got it working again!

(**ROSE **bounces into view.)

**ROSE: **(Muffled through rapid chewing) You genius, you! I'd kiss you but I'm not sure you'd appreciate pancakes all over ya face.

**DOCTOR: **(Shrugs)Probably not. Though, saying that – I haven't actually tried.

(**ROSE **visibly swallows back food, and kneels down next to the **DOCTOR **and gives him a peck on the cheek. He goes red.)

**ROSE: **(Giggling) So where to today?

(**DOCTOR **gets up, grabbing the camera and pans it around the TARDIS Console Room.)

**DOCTOR: **(Voice behind camera) Hmm, not sure.

**ROSE: **(Excitedly) Let's go to the Pigeon Planet!

(Camera stops on **ROSE**.)

**DOCTOR: **Your mother wants entertainment, not a load of pigeons' pooing everywhere. We want fun, danger and excitement!

(Pause.)

**DOCTOR: **I know!!!

(Camera is tossed to **ROSE **and rights the viewas the **DOCTOR **bolts across to the TARDIS console, jabbing every single button in sight.)

**ROSE: **(Voice behind camera) Note how he NEVER touches THAT one…

(Camera zooms right in to a single raised button next to a black lever. Camera zooms out.)

**ROSE: **(Whispered) Let's press it!

(Camera with **ROSE **bounces forward quickly to the console, her hand falling to smash down on the button.)

**DOCTOR: **No!!! Rose!!! Don't press the-

_**Camera – off.  
**_

* * *

_**Camera – on, buzzing. Fizzing. Bad quality.**_

(Silence, a small wedge of the TARDIS in view through interference.)

_**Camera – off.**_

**_Camera – on. Better quality._**

(The **DOCTOR** is visible, battered looking, but alive.)

**DOCTOR: **(Seriously, straight into camera)Rose, if you can hear me now, it means you're alone. I'm hoping you have enough common sense to play this tape back. I've would have left the TARDIS by now, and you are NOT going to follow me. And don't go absorbing the Time Vortex to save me again; that was a bit messy last time.

(He glances off camera. Brief pause. He looks back.)

**DOCTOR: **Bye, Rose.

(Camera is set down on the ground, and the **DOCTOR**'s feet disappear out of view with rhythmic 'clangs', and out the TARDIS.

**_Camera – continues to run. _**

_**Run.**_

_**Run.**_

_**Run.**_

_**Camera – continues to run.**_

(**ROSE **is in view, looking terrified.)

**ROSE: **Hello? Oh good, it's workin'.

(Pause.)

**ROSE: **(Voice shaking) He's gone.

(Pause.)

**ROSE: **He left me.

(Pause.)

**ROSE: **Maybe some weird alien's got him, I dunno.

(Long pause.)

(Suddenly **ROSE**'s eyes widen.)

**ROSE: **The camera!

_**Camera – off.  
**_

* * *

_**Camera – on.**_

(**ROSE **is visible, looking nothing short of furious.)

**ROSE: **(Angrily) The bloody IDIOT!

(The TARDIS starts to bleep, and** ROSE **grasps the camera and runs to the console. A red panel is flashing. **ROSE**'s hand presses onto it.)

**ROSE: **(Quizzically, voice behind camera) A peace offering?

(More bleeping.)

**ROSE: **I gotta get out there!

_**Camera – off.  
**_

* * *

_**Camera – on.**_

(There is a giant lake in view, the gentle washing of water heard.)

**ROSE: **(Voice behind camera) Thought you should see this mum, the place where I'll die. Well, at least I'll rot on a nice leafy ground!

(Pause.)

**ROSE: **(Dejectedly)No sign of the Doctor though. I've lost him. _Why _did I have to press that bloody button? _Why _didn't I listen to him? Now he's gone, he's gone and I have no idea where he is. I miss him, mum. I miss him. I need him. I can't live without him. But I have no idea where he is. Where could he be? The bottom of this lake? In a cave? Probably in orbit. Probably somewhere impossible where I'll never, ever find him.

(Pause.)

**ROSE: **Oh! Look! There he is!

(All that is seen is moving ground as **ROSE **and the camera run across the grass in a frenzy.)

**ROSE:** (Panicked) Doctor!

(Camera pans up and the **DOCTOR **is lying unconscious in shallow water. Camera is set down on the grass as **ROSE **drags the **DOCTOR **out the water onto the bank.)

**ROSE: **(Shaking the **DOCTOR**) If you die, I'm not preparin' your goddamn funeral arrangements!

(**DOCTOR **opens eyes, moaning and wet through.)

**DOCTOR: **(Groaning) Rose?

(**ROSE **slaps the **DOCTOR**. The **DOCTOR **cries out.)

**DOCTOR: **(Rubs cheek)Ow!

**ROSE: **THAT'S for bloody wanderin' off!

**DOCTOR: **I had no choice! Those cartoon weirdoes! Spiderman! Daffy Duck! They were calling to me!

(Pause.)

**ROSE: **Doctor, for a mo there I thought you said 'cartoon weirdoes'.

**DOCTOR: **I did.

(Long pause.)

**ROSE: **I think you're concussed.

_**Camera – off.  
**_

* * *

_**Camera – on.**_

(**ROSE **is sitting cross-legged on a metal table – the walls pure white.)

**ROSE: **Okay, day three and he's still insisting the 'cartoon weirdoes' are out to get him. Obviously whatever got him is insane, as well as crazy. Also, crazy – and very insane. They've completely messed with his head.

**DOCTOR: **(Off camera) Rose! Where's the tin foil?

(**ROSE **turns to face **DOCTOR**.)

**ROSE: **(Confused) Why d'you need tin foil?

(**DOCTOR **walks into camera's view. He's dressed in pyjamas and is smiling manically.)

**DOCTOR: **I wanna build a tin foil tower!

(**DOCTOR **turns to camera, does a double take, and then waves.)

**DOCTOR: **Hi camera!

**ROSE: **(Patronising) Doctor, I think it's time you went to bed, don't you?

(**DOCTOR **becomes crestfallen.)

**DOCTOR: **But why do _I_ have to go to bed?

(**ROSE **draws the **DOCTOR **into a hug, like a mother holding their child.)

**ROSE: **Take Mister Eddy Teddy with you, he looks tired and I'm sure he needs someone to keep him company.

**DOCTOR: **(Brightly) Okay!

(**DOCTOR **bounces off of camera view. **ROSE **turns back to camera.)

**ROSE: **Okay, I'm going back to that place tomorrow and _making _these cartoon weirdoes turn him back to how he was, or there _will _be consequences!

_**Camera – off.  
**_

* * *

_**Camera – on.**_

(**DOCTOR **come into view, grinning.)

**DOCTOR:** (Giggles) Cam-bra! Hehe!

_**Camera – off.  
**_

* * *

_**Camera – on.**_

(Scuffling is heard. The camera is panned upwards, and **ROSE **is in view standing infront of the lake. She rolls her eyes dramatically.)

**ROSE: **Doctor, put it down, you'll break it.

**DOCTOR: **(Voice behind camera) But I'll be extra careful Rosie, promise.

**ROSE: **(Sighs) Fine, just don't break it, okay?

**DOCTOR: **(Sniffs) 'Kay.

(Camera with **DOCTOR **follows **ROSE **across grass.)

**DOCTOR: **Rose, d'you reckon that when I'm old enough I'll be able to live in a place like this?

(Pause.)

**ROSE: **(Smiles) Sure, Doctor. You can live wherever you wanna live.

(**ROSE **turns to the lake.)

**ROSE: **Alright you cartoon weirdoes! Out you come! I want a word with you!

(Camera with **DOCTOR** and **ROSE** jump back quickly as something flies low over their heads.)

**ROSE: **Whoa, what was that?

**VILLIANOUS VOICE: **Ha! You two dare to strive into Toontown? This shall be your first, and last time!

**DOCTOR: **I've been here before.

(Pause.)

**VILLIANOUS VOICE: **Oh. That's just totally ruined my intro.

_ZAP! KERSPLAT! POW! BANG!_

**HEROIC VOICE: **Hahaha! Die, Dr. Evil!

**ROSE: **What the hell was that?!

(**SUPERMAN **and** SPIDERMAN** step out of shadows, **DR. EVIL **looking peeved off on the ground.)

**SUPERMAN: **Do not worry, pretty little girl! Superman has saved you!

(**SPIDERMAN **frowns.)

**SPIDERMAN: **I helped too!

**SUPERMAN: **Yeah, but you're no one. You call yourself Spiderman and you're arachnophobic!

**ROSE: **(Sighs) Look, I've seen the movies – and frankly _Clark, _(**SUPERMAN **goes red) I'm not impressed. Not remotely impressed. You've taken my friends brain and turned him into an eight-year-old kid, or, at least, _more _of an eight-year-old kid than he already was. And I want him back. So maybe if you'd stop runnin' around flexin' your goddamn muscles (**SUPERMAN **looks down at muscles) and actually paid some attention to anythin' but the mirror, you would be a little more respected!

(Long pause. **SUPERMAN **looks deflated.)

**DR. EVIL: **Wow, that was harsh.

(**SUPERMAN **begins to shake, before bursting into tears.)

(**ROSE **turns to **SPIDERMAN**, hands on hips.)

**ROSE: **As for YOU, I can't remember your real name but I know you're really geeky. And 'Spiderman'? For Christ's sake, that's so original I could throw up. And that COSTUME! What WERE you thinkin'? (**SPIDERMAN **looks down at costume) I can see your pants line for God's sake! You have a REALLY big bum! (**SPIDERMAN **blushes) Plus, if you're gonna wear a full on lycra suit, pad out the goddamn crotch area, because you have a _really _small penis. Oh yeah, don't think I haven't noticed! I think everyone's noticed! The same goes for you too Superman! (**SUPERMAN **sobs harder) And now I'll ask ya – GIVE MY FRIEND BACK HIS MATURITY!

(**SPIDERMAN **and **SUPERMAN **are now weeping. **DR. EVIL **is grinning.)

**SUPERMAN: **(Meekly) We only wanted a friend! It gets so lonely sometimes, here in Toontown.

**ROSE: **(Indignantly) Oh yeah, 'Toontown'. Hardly a bloody town, is it?

**SPIDERMAN: **Here! Have his maturity back! Just don't hurt us with your words anymore!

**ROSE: **Thank you!

(**SPIDERMAN **walks up to camera and reaches out to the **DOCTOR **behind it.)

**DOCTOR: **Ow!

(Camera falls sideways and hits the floor.)

_**Camera – off.  
**_

* * *

_**Camera – on.**_

(Nothing but **ROSE**'s head is in the camera view, who's smiling.)

**ROSE: **(Waves) Hey, it's me again. So, there you go – an average outin' with the Doctor. I don't think we'll ever be going to Toontown again. (She smiles cheekily) Although…we did get an idea from it all.

(Camera zooms out slowly, revealing **ROSE **standing next to the **DOCTOR **infront of the console, the **DOCTOR** holding the zoom remote. The **DOCTOR **is wearing a full blue lycra suit with groinal padding, a long red cape, a mask across his face and a single 'D' sown onto his front. **ROSE **is wearing a tight pink leather outfit.)

**DOCTOR: **(Deep heroic voice) Are you ready, Giggle Girl?

**ROSE: **Yessir!

(The **DOCTOR **smiles at **ROSE**, his arms unfolding as the two run off screen, and all that is seen is the TARDIS dematerialisation column pulsating up and down.)

_**Camera – off.**_

_**Your battery needs recharging.**_


End file.
